Ring Fires Ukrainian Team, Switches Video Analysis to NSA

SANTA MONICA – Embattled smart home manufacturer Ring announced today that the company would be ending all overseas video processing operations and contracting directly with the National Security Agency instead. Ring, and its parent company Amazon, have been the target of numerous security flaws and personal information leaks in the past few months. “The NSA approached us with an offer we simply couldn’t refuse,” said CEO Jamie Siminoff. “Instead of using foreign workers for these types of services we’ll be able to provide great jobs right here in the USA and all for free! Who would have thought?” The smart home company hopes to shift more data processing over to the NSA in the future and will soon update its iOS and Android apps to forward GPS and other tracking data along to the organization. “We know our customers want to know their home is secure and there’s simply nothing more secure than the National Security Agency,” Siminoff continued. “Security is right there in the name.”